I hate being so depressed!

So we are back from Florida, nice visit with my daughter. She has been gone for 7 years, enlisted and gone 2 days after her 18th birthday (Christmas Eve). It seems that every time she leaves or I leave her I can't say good-bye. It hurts my heart to have to leave. She is grown, married and has her own life, but I never miss her any less. Everyday, I wish she was home, but I thank GOD she is not fighting overseas. I guess the depression of leaving her will be her for its usually couple of days.....my poor hubby, he feels my hurt!

Tell me how I manage, without my momma

Let me tell you I am here with my daughter in Florida, and for two days she has asked me, "Mom, how do I???" "What do I do with..." "Where can I..." I have answer for everything, hey I am a mom, but damn it the minute my mother walks in the door, I revert to the same behavior. "Mom, how do I?" Awesome to know we can always stay children, and beautiful that I still have my momma to ask :)

Talk about STRESS!!!!

I actually had to stay home from work cause I look hideous!!!! Hives from head to toe...yes I am stressing, school, Christmas, family, WORK which is the worst and so my body reacts with friggin hives...WTF!!!! So I got a shot and complete some things on my TTD list...but is it enough??? Is it ever enough???? I need to either find another job or start letting things roll off my back and just smile at those who hate....hey I like that idea!!!

Christmas shopping...when did it become so ridiculous

We spent the day at Freehold Mall, what a mad house. People are mean, rude and nasty. The push past you without a second glance or an "I'm sorry." When did Christmas shopping become so ugly????? No one is really happy they just are going through the motion......bah humbug!!!! Ok, but my cookies are started, dough in the frig and a batch made. My husband screwed up two, not one two, batches of friggin cookies!! Tasted like chocolate chip and salt cookies. I swear the man has ADHD, can't follow damn directions, how hard is it?

It is December 1st and we have plans for New Years already. Simple, just dinner with friends, and friends that make us crazy at that....we love them though. It seems that my girlfriend wants to be home by 9:30 on NYE, what the hell???? We will have dinner with them and let them go home, we want to go hang out at a local bar, anything but go home, I guess we will play it by ear.

First post

Awwww my first post. When I think about blogging I think about other people doing it, never me. I actually feel the need to do it, I was a lock and key journal keeper as a child and most of my adult life, and somehow that ended. I remember the day it did, my last child left the house and I thought, wow now what. Time to travel? Get serious about my relationship(divorced about 5 years then), WHAT???? I decided to uproot myself and move to sunny California for 5 months.....goodness empty nest syndrome makes you do crazy stuff.

So today I will try and start getting these feelings back out. I surely don't want to vent my issues everyday, but most days lately I could run down the street screaming and pulling out my own hair. Work is disastrous and someone (yea me) thought it was a good idea to go back to school and become a Nurse Practitioner. Truly I could solve my work problem if I let one person have it and school, well anyone who knows me knows I LOVE IT!!!! I will be the perpetual student forever. As my husband so fondly says, when you think your standing in a pile of s*&t, if you look down, you are standing on someones shoulders.....I know I am.

Ok, so in a nutshell....I am a 40 y.o. mother of two beautiful, and when I say beautiful trust me, grown women. One is a proud mom herself, with the will of a lion. The other is a Staff Sgt. in the United States Air Force (can you tell I am proud of my girls). I remarried about 2 years ago, and well, change is hard. When you spend 7 years alone it is hard to want to share the bed, bathroom, and your life, but the man was persistant. My husband sure does not have it easy, he has stepped into a life of a mother of two and a very independent woman that doesn't take any, and I repeat any, crap. Most days I feel like marriage is the hardest thing I do, grad school isn't even this hard. But, we plug along and every night I lay down and think wow, what the hell am I doing with my life......and I have done this to myself :).......but blessings are in abundance, my grandson is 6 months old and a shining star in my heart, my father received the gift of a kidney transplant this year, and I still have a grandmother around that spoils me rotten.....awwww see when you stop and think of all the good things....the other crap doesn't matter!!!!